Is that a real question?!? Okay... let's assume for a moment that it is a real question. Then the answer is an unequivocal YES!
Here are a few facts:
“The foundations of social competence that are developed in the first five years are linked to emotional well-being and effect a child’s later ability to functionally adapt in school and to form successful relationships throughout life.”
"When children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape."
"—Healthy social-emotional development in young children correlates with healthy cognitive development, and, therefore creates a strong foundation for future school achievement."
Bottom Line... Social Skills Matter...a lot!
As a society, we place a tremendous amount of value on good grades and high test scores. It is believed that academic success with lead to adult success... good grades and high test scores will get our children into the best colleges and help them in their careers. This, of course, will lead to a life filled with happiness. Honestly, good grades and high test scores don't hurt; however, we must help our children to develop social competence. What we know for sure is that strong social-emotional development is a predictor of later academic, social, and emotional success.
It is unfortunate that we do not spend more time on helping children to develop these much needed skills. They are, after all, skills. You know...skills. Like math skills, and reading skills and language skills, and baseball skills and football skills and soccer skills. They all have to be taught... by someone...like a coach. Yes, a social coach. What a great idea!
We don't really "teach" social skills in school; we just punish the child who doesn't have the We do, however, assume that by the time a child enters school in kindergarten, they have the necessary social skills... they can self regulate, communicate their wants and needs, and that they are flexible in their thinking. This is a faulty assumption. Far too many children do NOT have the skills needed to be successful in school. Positive social-emotional growth builds the communication skills necessary for learning throughout a child’s life.
Some social-emotional skills that support school readiness are:
—Confidence – A child will be able to participate in child-directed play
—Curiosity – A child will take interest in the world outside of themselves
—Intentionality – A child will be able to take the initiative in activities
—Self-Control – A child will be able to sit calmly and listen to a story
—Empathy – A child will show concern for a hurt or upset friend
—Problem Solving– A child will be able to work through conflict with peers
—Cooperativeness – A child will be able to fully participate in a group activity
The results of a new study show that when children have strong social skills and can interact effectively with their peers and manage their emotions, the impact on their adult lives is tremendous.
The study measured the social skills of 800 kindergartners in 1991 and them tracked them down 20 years later to see if the social skills really mattered. Guess what? Social Skills matter.
Here's what the researchers found:
“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach.
If a child doesn't know how to swim, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we…..
…..teach?
…..punish?
Why can’t we finish the last sentence as automatically as we do the others?”
Tom Herner (NASDE President) Counterpoint 1998, p. 2
Here are a few facts:
“The foundations of social competence that are developed in the first five years are linked to emotional well-being and effect a child’s later ability to functionally adapt in school and to form successful relationships throughout life.”
"When children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape."
"—Healthy social-emotional development in young children correlates with healthy cognitive development, and, therefore creates a strong foundation for future school achievement."
Bottom Line... Social Skills Matter...a lot!
As a society, we place a tremendous amount of value on good grades and high test scores. It is believed that academic success with lead to adult success... good grades and high test scores will get our children into the best colleges and help them in their careers. This, of course, will lead to a life filled with happiness. Honestly, good grades and high test scores don't hurt; however, we must help our children to develop social competence. What we know for sure is that strong social-emotional development is a predictor of later academic, social, and emotional success.
It is unfortunate that we do not spend more time on helping children to develop these much needed skills. They are, after all, skills. You know...skills. Like math skills, and reading skills and language skills, and baseball skills and football skills and soccer skills. They all have to be taught... by someone...like a coach. Yes, a social coach. What a great idea!
We don't really "teach" social skills in school; we just punish the child who doesn't have the We do, however, assume that by the time a child enters school in kindergarten, they have the necessary social skills... they can self regulate, communicate their wants and needs, and that they are flexible in their thinking. This is a faulty assumption. Far too many children do NOT have the skills needed to be successful in school. Positive social-emotional growth builds the communication skills necessary for learning throughout a child’s life.
Some social-emotional skills that support school readiness are:
—Confidence – A child will be able to participate in child-directed play
—Curiosity – A child will take interest in the world outside of themselves
—Intentionality – A child will be able to take the initiative in activities
—Self-Control – A child will be able to sit calmly and listen to a story
—Empathy – A child will show concern for a hurt or upset friend
—Problem Solving– A child will be able to work through conflict with peers
—Cooperativeness – A child will be able to fully participate in a group activity
The results of a new study show that when children have strong social skills and can interact effectively with their peers and manage their emotions, the impact on their adult lives is tremendous.
The study measured the social skills of 800 kindergartners in 1991 and them tracked them down 20 years later to see if the social skills really mattered. Guess what? Social Skills matter.
Here's what the researchers found:
- The test scores matter, but for different reasons. What they found is that many times the child with the great test scores and good grades get them because they can work with a study partner to understand the problem, or that they have the skills to ask the teacher for extra help or they can resist the distraction of video games or TV and focus on studying for a test.
- The ability to share and turn take pay off later. Children who can get along with their peers and self-regulate are better at solving problems and will do better as adults. It just makes sense that a child who struggles with peer relationships and self- regulation is going to have challenges with rule-following in the future...that usually doesn't end well.
- Social skills can be taught, learned and unlearned. We need to take the time to TEACH children the social skills that they need. We also have to be the model. Our children are watching us. How are your social skills?
“If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach.
If a child doesn't know how to swim, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to drive, we teach.
If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we…..
…..teach?
…..punish?
Why can’t we finish the last sentence as automatically as we do the others?”
Tom Herner (NASDE President) Counterpoint 1998, p. 2
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